“Rich Brother, Poor Brother”: A man’s character shaped his destiny

WHAT causes a wealth gap? Is it due to luck? Or pre-determined destiny?

I came across a fascinating short documentary by Cutting Edge – “Rich Brother, Poor Brother” that explores the wealth gap in Britain through two estranged brothers by looking at their contrasting lives.

In the show, the estranged brothers were to live in each other’s world for four days.

The eldest brother, multi-millionaire Ivan Massow is a media personality and politician who runs a successful business. He has a family, lives in a luxurious five-storey home in Central London and owns a few properties and a stable full of horses. He goes hunting and horse riding in his spare time.

The younger brother, David, earns a living as an odd-job man and lives in the back of a van parked on a lay-by with no toilet and running water.

The brothers’ incredibly different lives make me ponder how does one sibling became rich and the other extremely poor? Both were raised by the same family and share the same financial starting point.

Now let’s delve deeper into their childhood.

They were born into an ordinary family; however, Ivan’s childhood differs from his brother. David is the favourite child and enjoyed an ‘easy ride’ as a child. He was playful and doesn’t feel responsible for his mischievous youth.

Meanwhile, Ivan, driven by ‘lacking stability’ and wanting to make something for himself, is studious, reliable and hardworking. Since he was eight years old, he worked a few jobs to help support his family.

That gives us a glimpse of why the wealth gap widens once they reach adulthood as do their social classes. The successful brother has a wealthy and abundance mindset while the poor brother has self-limiting thoughts. I use three questions to differentiate between a rich and a poor mindset/attitude:

Who do you want to become?

We need to clearly define who we want to become and what we can contribute to our family and society.

Ivan is very clear about who he wants to become. Since he was a child, he wanted stability and security. He craves success and validation from his family members. He realised how difficult life is without having enough resources since he was young. The only way to get out of mediocrity is to work hard and constantly expand his skills.

However, David is carefree and doesn’t care what people think about him. His determination is always a flash in the pan. He is never committed to any job or learning new skills. He believes that people who work hard are idiots.

However, he felt he is entitled to financial assistance from his family. He will ask for money from his family and Ivan will send him money.

What kind of life do you want to live?

What are you after? Money, power, fame, success? So, what kind of lifestyle is associated with what you want? Wealthy lifestyle? Successful lifestyle? Or just enough to get by?

Very clearly, Ivan goes for success and wealth. Ivan knows he wants to climb the social ladder and make a name for himself. He is willing to sacrifice his time and energy for money and opportunity.

Fame, recognition, money and material possessions are the results of his hard work. He also knows how to enjoy his money; he can immerse himself in his luxury hobbies during his free time. In short, his hard work gave him freedom.

On the contrary, David loves to move around and be himself. He doesn’t want money to control him but is still limited by his financial income.

What do you need to do to get what you want?

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do” – Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology (1875-1961)

Ivan values money and worked a few jobs when he was very young. He became an entrepreneur and opened his financial service firm. He doesn’t complain about his difficulties; he will take all possible actions to improve his situation and find the opportunity to grow money from his business.

He knows how to use the money to make money yet he doesn’t spend recklessly. He has vision, is a man of action and is a problem solver.

David does not have a plan. Even though he has tried a few jobs, nothing persists as he can always fall back on his family.

William James, the American philosopher and psychologist, once said: “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.”

Our thoughts will determine our actions. Our actions will define the habits which make up our character. Our character will determine our destiny. We are the results of our character.

So, can we alter our destiny? The answer is yes but we need an abundant mindset like Ivan to achieve limitless potential in life so as to enable us to care for our loved ones and positively impact society. Let’s build a life worth living.